A serious song performed in a distinctly humorless manner by someone who wears deodorant.

The fantasgreat audiotronic device* above will, after you press 'start', stream the finest in contemporary pirate listening to your speakers. If you're on a slower connection, give it a minute. Here's a picture to look at while you wait, or read the lyrics...

This device requires the latest shockwave plugin, not just the flash plugin. You can find the plugin here.

If
a) you would rather not bother with the plugin thingy
- or -
b) have some difficulty playing the radio play,
a downloadable mp3 file is available here (3.33meg, but worth every second)

I was shattered by the motion
Of the ocean of lotion
Lubing me down

My parrots looking luscious
for my loving or my lunches
I can't decide

Thought I'm not really sure
If it's a boy or it's a girl
My hook began to twirl
When I looked
At that beak tonight

We'll start out with some necking
And then we'll move to pecking
In the wind

Oh a glass pirate: take him by the hand
Throw your bones across the land
Oh a glass pirate: take him by the hand
He's not always a big tough man

Rest assured
I don't want to kill you
You can rest assured
I just want to love,
Forever

"You're so sensitive, Biff"

Rainbow skull and cross bones flag:
It just means jump my bones man
I'm still rated arrrrg

I just want to be
Appreciated genuinely
And loved

From bandana
To my peg-toe
You'll be listening to my
Pirate radio

Oh a glass pirate: take him by the hand
Throw your stones across the land
Oh a glass pirate: take him by the hand
He'll show you he's a killer man

You lit my peg leg on fire
It's keeping me so warm
'Til I'm smacked up by the storm

The sun will move without a sound
I think she's going down

There she blows